The Conlanger Test 1.1

Geoff's homepage -> Artificial Languages -> Vowel Systems

Last update: 21 June 2017

Being a compendium of conlanging lore, experiences, rites of passage, and humour, all masquerading as a test.

This Test is, obviously, inspired by the Hacker test. I welcome further suggestions for new questions and alterations to existing ones, and would like to point out that the test is not specifically designed to give myself the highest possible score :-)

Score one point for each question to which you can answer "yes", unless otherwise indicated. You are allowed some leeway in interpreting the questions; it's not all that important anyway.

This version of the test was created by Geoff Eddy with help from assorted members of the Zompist Bulletin Board, and modified by Uruwi (bluebear94).

Your own conlangs

Have you ever created a conlang?
... 2 or more conlangs?
... 5 or more?
... 10 or more?
... 20 or more?
... 50 or more? (i.e. if you've created 50 conlangs, your score this far is 6)
Can you hold a conversation in one of your conlangs?
... for longer than ten minutes?
... for longer than one hour?
Has anyone else ever learned one of your conlangs? (+2)
... in order to introduce themselves to you?
Has anyone ever written to you in one of your conlangs?
... unexpectedly?
Did you need to consult your notes to work out what it meant? (-1)
Have you ever learned anyone else's conlang?
... and corrected them on points of its usage? (+3)
Have you ever created a bogolang (i.e. a conlang purporting to be the descendant of a natlang)?
... which is derived from a non-IE language?
... which is derived from Basque, and your name is not Edo Nyland?
Do you take notes in your conlang?
... to confuse other people?
Are any of your conlangs listed on Langmaker or ConWorkShop?
... were their entries added by someone else?

Sounds

Do any of your phonemic inventories contain:

/ɬ/?
clicks?
ejectives?
implosives?
more than one back unrounded vowel?
vowels pronounced with creaky voice?
... with advanced tongue root?
fewer than ten phonemes?
more than seventy phonemes?
consonants at six or more places of articulation?
consonants made with seven or more manners of articulation?
no phonemic vowels?
phonemic vowel length on only one vowel? (-2)
/a e i o u y/ as your vowel inventory? (-2)
the same phonemes as English? (-5)
a phoneme which requires five or more ASCII characters to represent it in X-SAMPA?

Writing

Does the preferred romanisation of any of your conlangs require four or more diacritics?
... for the consonants as well as the vowels?
... and you can recite, from memory, the Unicode code points of all the necessary accented characters? (+5)
Have you created a script for one or more of your conlangs?
... 2 or more scripts?
... 5 or more?
... 10 or more?
... can it be written in a direction other than left-to-right?
Have you created a script for an existing language?
Have you ever created an abjad?
... a featural script?
... a logographic script with at least 100 characters?
... ... with at least 200?
Have you ever created a special artifact to showcase your script?
Have you ever made an item of clothing featuring your conscript?
... did you have to explain it to anyone?
... and were they impressed? (+2)
... did it say "Stop looking at my breasts!"?
Have you ever devised a new orthography for English?
... for another natlang?

Words

Is the total size of the vocabularies in your conlangs larger than 500 words?
... larger than 1000 words?
... larger than 2000 words?
... larger than 5000 words?
... larger than 10000 words?
... larger than 20000 words?
... larger than 50000 words?
Do you have words in your vocabularies which represent concepts inexpressible in your first language?
... in any natural language?
Does your own name translate to "deity" or similar in one of your vocabularies? (-1)
Does the name of your sweetheart translate to "beautiful" or similar in one of your vocabularies? (-1)
Do you habitually confuse words with insects? (-1)
Do you generate your vocabulary with a special program?
... which you wrote yourself?
Have you ever written a program to make generating vocabulary easier?
... has anyone else ever used it?
... have you ever managed to sell it?

Special features

Have you ever created a conlang which contains:

ergativity?
... with marked absolutive? (-2)
split ergativity?
vowel harmony?
consonant reduction?
triliteral roots?
polysynthesis?
Celtic-style consonant mutations?
trigger systems?
fluid-S typing?
fifteen or more noun cases?
five or more verbal aspects?
five or more levels of politeness or respect?
a set of taboo avoidance vocabulary?
four or more of the above simultaneously? (-5)

Advanced features

Have you written a grammar of your language?
.... that included more than just a phonology?
.... that included syntax and morphology?
.... as separate sections?
Was it more than 5 pages long?
... more than 20?
... more than 50?
... more than 100?
Was the syntax section longer than 10 pages?
... longer than 20?
Have you written a set of lessons for any of your conlangs?
... has anyone else ever learned your conlang from them?
Have you ever had a copy of any of these printed professionally?
... more than one copy?
... because someone else asked for one? (+2)
Has it ever been published, or otherwise sold? (+10)
Have you ever created a language influenced by Speedtalk?
... based on predicate calculus?

Other conlangs

Do you know useful amounts about:

Klingon?
Nadsat?
Láadan?
Ithkuil?
Robert Jordan's Old Tongue?
... and consider it to be an abomination?
... or a masterpiece of conlanging? (-5)
one or more of Christopher Paolini's conlangs?
... and consider them to be abominations?
... or masterpieces of conlanging? (-5)
one or more of Jack Eisenmann's conlangs?
... and consider them to be abominations?
... or masterpieces of conlanging? (-5)
one or more of Tolkien's conlangs?
... 2 or more?
... 5 or more?
... 10 or more?
Can you name all of Tolkien's conlangs?
... and confidently answer obscure questions about them? (+3)
Have you ever bought one of Tolkien's books purely for the linguistic material?
Do you have a poster or picture of another conlanger on your wall?

Auxlangs

Have you ever begun learning an auxlang?
... and regretted it?
Have you ever tried to reform an auxlang?
... and regretted it?
Have you ever created an auxlang?
... expected it to replace Esperanto?
... and regretted it?
Have you ever created a better orthography for Esperanto?
Do you think the chief problem with Esperanto is the -n suffix? (-1)
Have you ever had an argument about the supposed merits of a specific auxlang?
... with its creator? (+5)
... ... and won? (+10)
Have you ever published an article, or written a webpage, criticising a particular auxlang?
... did it draw the ire of supporters of the auxlang in question?
... and this was your intention? (-2)
Can you name the creators of all the main auxlangs created since Volapük?

IPA & SAMPA

Are you familiar with the IPA?
... in all of its variants?
Do you know, from memory, the Unicode code points of all the IPA characters? (+5)
Do you know what "IPA" expands to?
... do you think it's a kind of drink? (-1)
Do you know at least one of its ASCIIifications?
... at least 2?
... at least 5?
... did you contribute to any of them?
... have you ever created one or more of your own?
... does anyone else use it?
Do you know what "SAMPA" expands to?
Can you convert between X-SAMPA and the IPA without looking at a chart? (+2)
Can you spell "palatalisation/palatalization" correctly?
... without having to think about it?

The ZBB

Are you a member of the ZBB?
Do you post regularly?
Do other members treat your posts with respect?
... and you can demonstrate this to be the case?
Do you remember its predecessor?
... did you ever contribute to it?
Has any discussion on one of your conlangs on the ZBB gone to 2 or more pages?
... to 5 or more pages? (+2)
... to 10 or more pages? (+3)
Have you ever met at least 2 other ZBB members in real life?
... at least 5?
... at least 10?
... at least 20?
... at least 50?
... at least 100? (Someone will get there eventually...)
... all of them? (+5)
Do you know your ZBB Meets Number?
Is your Nuntar number finite and greater than 2?
Have you ever been Jankoed?
... twice or more?
... 5 or more times?
... 10 or more?
Have you ever triggered a Seraligasm?
... twice or more?
... 5 or more times?
... 10 or more?
Have you ever won first place in at least one of the end-of-year-awards?
... in 2 or more?
... in 5 or more?
... in 10 or more?
... at most once in any category, ever?
Can you identify all the questions in this test on which exactly one ZBB member will score?

Other communities

Are you active on the /r/conlangs subreddit?
... do you have a purple flair? (+3)
Are you a member of at least 3 conlanging chat rooms?
... are you a moderator of one of them?
... all of them? (-5)
Did you start a thread about conlanging on a forum not dedicated to conlanging?
... did it get more than 50 replies?

Juvenilia and Obsession

Was your first conlang a relexing of English or another natlang?
... do you deny it? (-1)
Have you ever helped a newbie?
... did he or she understand you?
Have you ever spent two or more hours conlanging continuously?
... 5 or more hours?
... 10 or more hours?
Have you ever conlanged while intoxicated?
... and decided to keep the results? (+2)
Do you keep all your conlanging notes, even if obsolete?
Do you conlang while on holiday?
... in preference to more typical holiday activities?
... to the exclusion of any actual holiday activities?
Do you purposely avoid including specifically Indo-European features in your conlangs?
... and berate those who don't? (-1)
Have you ever coonsciously tried to improve your score on this test? (invalidates all other scores)

The Real World

Can you speak 2 or more natural languages to conversational level?
... 5 or more?
... 10 or more?
... 20 or more?
Can you speak a natural language which belongs to a different family from that of your mother tongue?
... from 2 or more such families?
... from 5 or more?
Do you own self-teaching texts for at least one language?
... at least 2?
... at least 5?
... at least 10?
... at least 20?
Do you own academic texts about at least one language family?
... at least 2?
... at least 5?
... at least 10?
Do you own at least one other academic linguistic text which you bought for your own interest or pleasure?
... at least 2?
... at least 5?
... at least 10?
... at least 20?
Do you own a copy of Describing Morphosyntax?

Discovery

Have you ever been caught conlanging and had to explain what you were doing?
... were you embarrassed?
... but taken seriously? (+2)
Have you ever written a school or college essay about conlanging?
... was it treated respectfully? (+2)
Have you ever tried to pass off one of your conlangs as a natural language?
... successfully? (+2)
... successfully to a professional linguist? (+5)
Have you ever published an article about one or more of your conlangs in a professional journal?
... was it received seriously? (+5)
Have any of your conlangs been published in a novel which you have written?
... which someone else has written? (+3)
Have you ever tried to make a film with some of its dialog in one or more of your conlangs?
... with all of its dialog? (+2)
... was all the conlang dialog rendered correctly? (+3)
Has any of your conlangs been used for dialog in a film by someone else? (+3)
... and been mentioned in reviews? (+5)
Have you ever dreamed in one of your conlangs?
... without realising it?
Have you ever been paid for conlanging?
Have you ever made love in one of your conlangs? (+5)
... without having to think about what to say? (+10)
... to someone else, in his or her conlang? (+10)
... ... without having to think about what to say? (+15)

Bogosity

Do you know Edo Nyland's theory of linguistic evolution?
... and understand it?
... did you ever consider it plausible? (-5)
... ... and still do so? (-5)
... do you use it to work out amusing but bogus etymologies?
... do you know which dictionary it is based on?
Do you believe that tests like this are bogus and only suitable for amusement value? (invalidates all other scores)

And finally... the rankings

If your score is:	You are ...
Below 0	Too honest for your own good
0	Probably wishing you had better ways of wasting your time
Between 1 and 10	A Newbie
Between 11 and 25	A Dabbler
Between 26 and 50	An Apprentice
Between 51 and 100	A Journeyman or Journeywoman
Between 101 and 200	A Master
Between 201 and 300	An Expert
Between 301 and 400	An Authority
Greater than 400	A Cheat